


The wrong door

by HikariYumi



Series: MCU KinkBingo Vol. 2 [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Escorts, Alternate Universe - No Powers, And they were neighbours, Conman Clint barton, Escort Service, FBI Agent Phil Coulson, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, POV Phil Coulson, Short One Shot, but it’s referenced due to Clint’s profession, escort Clint, mention of prostitution, no onscreen smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 19:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16793488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HikariYumi/pseuds/HikariYumi
Summary: When strangers accidentally waltz into Phil’s flat he starts to wonder what kind of person his neighbour is.





	The wrong door

**Author's Note:**

> Hello...
> 
> So today’s the MCU KinkBingo deadline and to my immense shame I haven’t been too active.. damn you dbh fandom and your sneak attacks...  
> Anyway... I’ve had the idea to this fanfic thanks to some videos of the animator Domics on YouTube. He was also met with the problem of meeting clients of his next door neighbor. Really, check him out. :)
> 
> So, here we go, I’ve had this in my drafts for quite some time so...
> 
> Hope you have fun.. :)
> 
> ~Hikari

Phil took pride in his reputation of being hard to surprise. Maybe it came with his job in one of the alphabet organisations, but he’d seen a lot of things, gruesome bad as well as painfully heartwarming.   
At times, when Phil was sent into the field, something that happened less and less the higher he climbed in the ranks, his partners tended to look at him for guidance during a crisis. There was a reason he was one of the most sought-out handlers.

Anyway, when he returned home after a long night at the office, the man took a double-take at the sight of his living room. 

Even though Phil earned good money by now, he still preferred to stay in his old flat from after his army days. He never felt the need to move out of the rundown apartment complex to one in the nicer parts of town, since he spend most of his time at work anyway. Phil’s boss and friend Nick Fury often asked why he even kept the flat if he slept on the pull-out sofa in the office more often than not. The man had long ago stopped complaining that the firm wasn’t a motel.

So, while Phil rarely spend time at home, he was reasonably sure that he did not have a roommate. Even if, he certainly would’ve picked someone less shady looking.  
But despite that knowledge there was a strange men sprawled out on his sofa, not appearing self-conscious in the slightest.

“Excuse me, may I inquire who you are and what you’re doing in my living room?”  
Phil fought hard against the reflex to grab his gun from his hidden holster, he could still do that if the man proved hostile. Right now keeping his aces up his sleeves seemed more wise.  
“I’m waiting for my-” the stranger hesitated for only a split-second but it was prominent enough for Coulson to notice.   
“-appointment.”

“Whatever you are waiting for, you’re in the wrong place. This is my flat and I would like you gone. Preferably right now.”  
The man on the sofa sat up a bit straighter, a scowl etching itself into his forehead.  
“Your door was open, dude, and the sign says 144!”

Phil let out a deep sigh and forced his tense back to relax a bit.  
“This is 143, try out the one on the right.”

Grumbling, the stranger rose to his feet and followed Phil’s advise without even a word of thanks, not that he really minded. When Phil inspected his entrance he found the faint scratches of an attempted and apparently successful break in.  
This realisation was nothing more than an annoying inconvenience, Phil stored nothing important in this shell of a home anyway, neither sensible information nor other articles of value. For those he had a safe at work.

He would talk to his landlord about replacing the lock the next time they’d cross paths. For now Phil stripped out of his suit, stored his handgun in his bedside table and went to sleep. If someone else happened to walk in here at night, he was pretty certain he would be able to take that person on.

That was the first time a guest for flat 144 walked through Phil’s door, at least as far as he was aware, but it certainly wasn’t the last time.

~

Over the course of the following weeks Phil received unwelcome visitors not less than five times. Two of them walked in while the man was showering, only to claim that they had knocked beforehand. After that Phil finally had the opportunity to take care of his lock situation. The other three didn’t get in and were instead politely redirected to his next door neighbour after announcing their presence.

The interesting fact about those visitors were, that they didn’t have much in common. Two of them were middle aged women who could’ve been teachers of some kind, judging from the air of dominance and rigidness. The other three were men, two in their twenties and one in his fifties. While the younger ones might’ve been sportsmen, judging by the bland and cheap suit of the older one he might’ve worked in an office.

Phil had thought about those people sometimes when he was cooking, entertaining himself with the little mystery that was his neighbour whom he actually hadn’t ever seen in person. Were those people his friends? But how could he keep being so negligent of giving proper directions to his guests in that case? After the first time when someone told him about accidentally entering the wrong flat the person should’ve handled that issue.  
Maybe his neighbour was dealing drugs and was stupid enough to distribute the product out of his flat. Phil would lie if he said that things like that weren’t actually happening more frequently than it was amusing.

The mystery solved itself a few months later during which the accidental address mix-ups never decreased.   
One day, when Sidwell and Phil had managed to sit down in the cafeteria together to grab a quick lunch, his coworker brought up the topic of his neighbour. Phil hadn’t told anyone about the strange visitors, not even to Nick, he hadn’t seen the necessity, so the comment caught him off-guard.

“Did you know you’re living next to an escort service? You won’t believe my surprise when I found out!”

Phil neither asked how exactly Sidwell gotten aware of his neighbours profession nor warranted he the questions with an answer. Still, when he returned home after work in the wee hours of the morning, Phil took out his phone to google his apartment building along with a few pointed terms.

It proved shockingly easy to figure out his neighbours name. Francis Barton, who actually gave not only his real address but also his age and a picture of himself out, started his services roughly a year ago. Surprisingly, he wasn’t even the only one in the building. Two levels below them there was another escort listed.

Phil shook his head and flipped through the advertisement. Francis’ hourly rates weren’t as horrendous as the man had anticipated, even though he obviously catered women as well as men.  
After some contemplation, Phil clicked on the button for messaging the desired escort and started typing.

“You might want to think about informing customers in your profile about the apparent confusing placement of the address plates in the building.  
\- 145”

~

“I took your advice, by the way. Thanks for that.”  
Phil returned home once more to a man on his sofa. This time around though, it wasn’t a stranger. Even without the flattering lightning and meticulously styled hair of the profile picture, Francis Barton proved to be a pretty man. 

Phil raised an eyebrow, an obvious indicator for Francis to keep talking.  
“Your door was open?”  
“It really wasn’t.”  
Since his upgrade to more secure locks - of course his landlord had tried to fight against paying half of the cost - no more break-in attempts had occurred. 

“No it wasn’t,” Francis agreed. He didn’t explain how he got into the flat and Phil didn’t ask.

“So what can I do for you, Francis?”  
The younger man scrunched up his face in irritation.  
“Only people who pay me call me that, my name’s Clint.”

Phil nodded in acknowledgment, put down his briefcase and stepped out of his dress shoes.   
“The question still stands. You’re not only stopping by to thank me, are you?”  
Silence fell between them for just a beat too long to be considered casual, then Clint shrugged sheepishly.  
“I am, kinda. After your message I’ve noticed that I never introduced myself to you. That’s what neighbours do, right? Bring cake or something? I can’t bake though, but I guess I could get some from the bakery next door-“

Phil let the kid ramble and used the opportunity to take a closer look. His light, blonde hair was mussed on his head, as if he’d only quickly rubbed it dry after showering recently, and Clint sported dark bags under his eyes that couldn’t just come from one night of insomnia.

“I’m not much of a pastry fan, I’m afraid” Phil eventually chimed in, taking in the relief in Clint’s posture. “But I don’t think new apartment neighbours actually come around bearing gifts. I know that I certainly didn’t when I moved in.”

The kid appeared scrawny but under his shirt Phil could make out some defined arm muscles. Well, he could also see the faint markings on pale wrists that in the man’s experience were caused by rope.

Clint, upon noticing the scrutinising gaze, self consciously crossed his arms to hide the bruises.  
“Hey, don’t look like that, you knew what I’m doing!”  
A fair point.  
“You mean, ‘escorting’ clients while never actually leaving your flat? Yes, I’m aware.”

Clint pouted while his cheeks flushed in the lightest shade of pink, but the kid had himself under control way too quickly.  
“If I’m that awesome company that clients don’t even need to go out to have fun, well, that’s not my fault. You on the other hand-“

Phil leaned against his living room wall in expectation. He wouldn’t sit down and put himself into disadvantage, but he wouldn’t just throw his neighbour out either. This was a good compromise.

“-your company could benefit from improved manners. You know my name but never told me yours.”  
Another fair point and while he contemplated what harm it could bring to disclose his name, or even part of his name, Clint started talking again.

“It’s not that I don’t know it, of course, but it would be just decent to tell your guest yourself, right?”  
“If said ‘guest’ hasn’t only showed up unannounced but also let himself in while I was at work, I’m not sure if decency is really a big point in the interaction.

The pout was back and brought along a happy twinkle in Clint’s eyes.  
“You won’t ask how I did it?”  
“Plausible deniability, ever heard of it?”

Clint sat up straighter, eyes trained firmly on Phil.  
“I know you’re with the agency, but does that mean you’ll leave me alone?”  
“So that’s the real reason you showed up here, to gauge if I’m going to be a danger to you.”

“Well, are you?”  
“Not if I can help it.”

That seemed to be enough for Clint, he rose to his feet, smirk back in place and sauntered to the door. When he passed Phil at the entrance he held his distance, politely indicating that he wouldn’t attack the other man.  
“See you around, Coulson.”

~

Clint Francis Barton was not only your friendly next-door escort but an actual conman.   
Well, Phil supposed that it explained the man’s knowledge of intrusion and information. Not quite sure how to handle this new knowledge, he leaned back in his office chair. 

Phil really regretted that he had given into the urge to dig up more about Clint, instead of turning a blind eye to the secretive neighbour.  
Sighing, the man grabbed his phone and hit speed dial, Nick night have an idea.

~

“Why did you look me up? What happened to ‘plausible deniability’?”

Interestingly enough it bothered Phil even less than the first time to be greeted by Clint in his sofa.

“My curiosity got the better of me.”

The men held each other’s gazes for a long moment, far enough apart to be able to fight of surprise attacks.

“And what are you going to do now?”

Very slowly, Phil shrugged off his coat and put down his bag, never breaking eye contact. His suit jacked followed, granting sight on the holstered gun.

“I’m about to offer you a job.”

The kid’s s face did something complicated before smoothing out again. Just as carefully as Phil had before, Clint tugged his hoodie up to reveal a weapon of his own.

“I’m flattered, but I’m not your pretty woman, Coulson.”

The ridiculous feeling of anticipation that had hit Phil earlier while leaving Clint a new message, returned. His neighbour was really something else.

“I didn’t think of you as one, I just saw a person with a valuable skill set. I thought I might interest you to help us out with a few things in your area of expertise. Of course, it won’t stop you from working as an escort.”

Clint grinned and crossed his arms in front of his chest, not caring that his hoodie fell back into place.

“Well, then I just need to know one last thing.”  
The grey eyes twinkled with mischief again, Phil decided that it suited the young man a lot.  
“Is there a rule against dating coworkers?”

If Phil would’ve been a different man, he might’ve snorted at that. As it was, he only raised his eyebrow and said:  
“Not if one is a consultant.”

“Great, that’s settled then. Want to come over to my flat? No offence, but your’s looks like a prison.”

Phil shook his head, but stepped aside to let Clint pass him in the narrow entrance.

“Charming. Your clients seem to prefer mine though, maybe I’m just that great company myself?”

The kid’s shoulder playfully bumped into him and Phil felt himself be on the receiving end of a dazzling smile.

Clint purred: “I’m sure you are. But maybe show me, just to be sure.”  
“Lead the way then.”

~

Clint proved to be a great addition the the agency, as well as Phil’s sparse private life. Clients still ended up being in a flat without the kid, but that was mostly due to the fact that he sneakily had moved in with Phil at some point.

Phil didn’t mind, he had to agree that his apartment looked way better with the young man in it. Nick also mostly approved of the escort slash conman, even if it was only because his friend slept home more often. 

All in all, things were going well. Love is said to be found in the most unlikely places. So why not in your next door neighbour?


End file.
